Please, just once...

Dear Joe,

I'm certain in a previous posting somewhere here I had talked about a documentary called "Generation Rx" that I had watched and just cried through.

How I identified on soo many levels with the patients that were still alive to tell their tales, and even those that are no longer.
That thought scares me, but it's true.

While it is very depressing, scary, and sad, it gave me an explanation of what I was going through, what I was feeling, and experiencing in the quest just to feel "Happy". Or what I thought what that should have felt or looked like.

From this movie I have been able to ease up some, though I still do beat myself up for my past while on these drugs. Whether it was beyond my control or not.
I guess I'm a sadist.

I was able to find it on YouTube and would like to take the time out and ask you to Please, just watch it once.
Please try to understand what these drugs can do to people.
What they did to me.

Believe me, there are days (more than not) that I wished that I was one of those "statistics", the ones that didn't make it. I still believe I don't deserve much of anything, let alone to live.

The pain inflicted is a tragic pain that I have been unable to reconcile. But at least there is this documentary...
It let me know that what I went through wasn't an isolated occurrence, that I was actually LUCKY I didn't get much worse.

Thank You Jesus for that!

Anyway, Please watch this movie... Maybe it will make sense to you. Give you answers that I couldn't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VHf9e39ilI

Love,
"Jill"