Turn Around

Dear Joe,

While having one of my deep philosophical discussions with a friend of mine last night, she kept asking why I had been unable to forgive myself and finally let go. Let go of all the pain and unresolved emotions I have been carrying around for years concerning you, me, everything in between.

I told her that for so many years, you had never turned your back on me when I needed you the most.
That you were always there. And that I felt that I owed you at least that.

Then she told me this: "You cannot turn your back on someone who is not there"

Even though she is right, those words stung hard. Even as I type this I have tears welling up in my eyes because it is the truth.
I turned my back on you; so many times.
I've lost count.

I guess I'm hoping that one day when you need it, I can return the favor.
Though, I won't hold my breath. I can't imagine why you would ever need me for anything really.

But should you ever, you know where to find me.

I hope you are doing well.

Love Always,
"Jill"