Welcome to my blog, my thoughts, my feelings, everything I wanted to say but couldn't say it to the one person who walked into my life, showed me what unconditional love and friendship was. And it has never been the same.
These are My Letters to Joe.
I finally made it out to HMB to get a picture of that restaurant with your name. Shot a pic of it for you then commenced to Santa Cruz for the majority of the day.
I'm hoping to relocate there sometime soon. We shall see.
Hope you are doing well and left you with 2 wishes
"That feeling when you love someone, That No matter how big or small you are willing to follow them through the storm all the way down to the eye. I will hold your hand. We shall either learn from each other or be together forever. And I shall only love you.”
Yep... I know that feeling well.
On an unrelated note:
More Oregon...
Love,
"Jill"
the hitch cover is an OSU "O" and the license plate was an Oregon one as well.
I have nothing earth shattering to write about at this moment but thought I would throw in a Star Wars pic I was sent as well as I remembered how you had always said that you wanted a pic of yourself on your motorcycle in the reflection off the back of a truck like the one pictured above.
I know it isn't of you on your bike, but it did remind me of that so I snapped this pic for grins.
Today I had a 3 hour long conversation with a long distance friend. God Bless his gay little butt for listening me gab for hours (literally).
We haven't spoken in a while so it was a conversation long over due. Interestingly enough... he asked about you.
Not really wanting to revisit and reopen that "wound", I reluctantly discussed things that happened from years ago catching him up to the present. It was interesting at the questions he asked tended to spark memories within that I had thought I had forgotten.
It was almost like Christmas lol ;)
I won't go into every little detail that was discussed, but the highlights were the downfall, it being my fault, what happened, etc... But also some of the good memories too of course.
What impressed the hell out of him was the story (this happens to be my all time favorite, and should you want to tell it again I would gladly listen) of your childhood and how you defeated becoming like your dad in drawing strength and to knowing better from "Star Wars".
OK.. so he totally got it. Thought that it was brilliant that a child could draw upon such a message conveyed in a movie where most adolescents would dream of being an "X Wing fighter pilot" and defeating "Darth Vader" rather than taking home the message that you have all the tools and ability to resist becoming a product of a violent upbringing by an abusive parent.
At that point, I understood and appreciated it more deeply when he described it as such. I can't say that I wasn't impressed when you had first told me the story, but I guess I have a renewed sense of "awe".
Matthew on the other hand.. I think you are his idol now.
However, if he starts to call you Obi Joe... I'm outta here. I can only handle so much of this and I shut down lol
In keeping with tradition.. I still take pics of the places with your name on it that I find at random.
The above 2 images were shot at Sea World in San Diego and the bottom 2, here in the Bay Area.
I drive to Santa Rosa to work and pass that little cafe every morning... which incidently is on the same route as Lucas Valley Rd. AND there is a John Deere store just a few doors down from there too.
There is a restaraunt in Mill Valley with your name on it as well... I will have to go back and get a photo of it along with the one in Half Moon Bay.
Still on my list of things to photograph but thought I would share what I have right now with you.
After packing up my desk, I unearthed this little valentine that I had kept on my megnetic board :)
I wished I knew the year that this was given to you and I, but of course I couldn't even give it a good guess as to when that would have been.
Quite possibly when it was while you were on a deployment. Which then sparked the memory of when I dragged you everywhere to get holiday and birthday cards for your family members for you to sign and I sent out to them while you were gone.
I would be willing to bet that this was obtained around that time... could be wrong though. Either way, great memories to have.
Even better when it is a "tangible" one such as this.
I even found one of your horseshoe business cards if you can believe that. I didn't want to post a pic of it as it has too much personal info on there. Don't want to attract the "internet crazies".
Wow... I did not expect to find this. That medal is the very one that I had blessed and relic'd along with yours that you put on your dog tags before you left for one of your deployments.
I cannot believe I found this. I didn't know where I had put it but glad that I saved it :)
Last night while I was decompressing after a long day of packing and moving, I settled in with some Chinese Food, Cosmo & Glamour magazines, and Sex and the City on DVD.
I can't tell you how many times I have watched that whole series plus the 2 movies that came out. It's beyond ridiculous but I still never tire of them :)
That morning I can still remember. And my mom had asked me what it was that you were going to give me that caused the partial loss of hearing in all Martinez.
*giggle*
While thumbing through my Cosmopolitan I came across the above page.
Of course, who do I think of? You. Just because it is Oregon... I know you aren't in Portland.
However I don't remember seeing a 1st part of the story so I was confused to see it dubbed "Part 2". Most likely it went undetected in last month's issue. Typical.
Today is my "Part 2" in the packing and moving saga that is me, but I wanted to share with you these little "tid bits".
When I finally got to bed, I rolled over and saw the time. *pictured below*
I made a wish. But this time it was to get the rest of what I needed done today.
Fingers Crossed! Now I just need to get out of bed.
