Choice or Chance?

"So my friend's Facebook status tonight read:

You don't fall in love by choice, its by chance. You don't fall out of love by chance, its by choice.
And it made me think... so here I am.
I think many of us who undergo a heartbreak hold on to the pain. Lord knows I have... but once we make the choice to let go of it, we open ourselves back up to the chance of finding love again. This blog has been my conscious decision to fall out of love, and to learn how to accept that as part of the cycle of life. And in doing so, I have found happiness.


Lao Tzu's secret for getting things done consists of three steps:
1. Acting without acting on,
2. Working without being worked on,
and
3. Accomplishing without ever having to struggle.
In essence, he is saying that we need to be part of the processes in motion rather than working against the process. By making the choice to fall out of love with someone who is no longer a healthy part of your life, you are flowing with the river of life instead of swimming upstream.

Thanks Tina, for making me think tonight."

This is one of those blog posts I can completely relate to and wanted to share...

Falling out of love with someone is easier said than done. It took a while to get to that point in the relationship so it is only natural for it to take time to fall out of.

I personally have a hard time letting people go, no matter who they are to me. Unless they are people that have made my life a living hell... Those I usually push out with a vengeance. There are maybe 2 people I can think of that fall into that category.

To this day, I miss my best friends "Cheryl", "Mike", and of course, You.

I still have pictures in frames of you and I, and one of just you. I know that it is counterproductive to letting go but something inside me is not ready. Its not that we keep in touch, because we don't. I haven't heard from you in months and I don't believe I ever will.

That alone should be reason enough to take the photos down and pack them away forever. The thought of that saddens me.

Maybe I'm afraid if I take that step, that it would be the final nail in the coffin? Not that you haven't already made that clear to me (you have).

That by clearing away those pictures solidifies The End and no chance for reconciliation?

Maybe I'm afraid that if I took them down and couldn't see them anymore that the memories would fade and eventually go away?

Sometimes it's the death of the memory that scares me. And most of the time, I made them out to be more than they actually were. It's like I wanted to change the story that has already been written, published, set in stone.

I know that in doing all of that, I would be taking a huge step in the right direction. There is no future with someone that does not want to be with you and treats you as such.

I don't need this pointed out to me. I have 20/15 vision.... it's my heart that can't see clearly at times.

So I guess for now... I take every day 1 day at a time and learn to let go a little each day.

I wish it was like ripping off a Band Aid. Quick and the pain only lasts a few seconds.

Instead, it is like ripping off stitches before they are ready to come out... a big gaping hole would be left.
That big gaping hole, right now for me, is left in my heart. Somehow some way I have to find a way to heal it.
Move on. Be Happy.
Just like you have.

Love,
"Jill"