An Open Letter to Starbucks

Dear Starbucks,

How dare you.

How dare you make a drink that I just cannot function without on a daily basis.
Seriously, I think its a conspiracy. I am convinced y'all add addictive chemicals to your coffee drinks so that we consumers CRAVE them on epic levels for a fortnight.

I have consumed so much caffeine, that I literally vibrate and see noises.
WTF?

This can't be legal, yet it is.

How dare you seemingly posses my car.
Bastards.

It appears that it has the innate ability to not only find you, but also drives itself into the parking lot where inevitably I get a prime spot and have no other choice but to give into temptation for another cup of your deliciousness.
*You already control my mind. Yet you don't stop there do you?...Of course not!*
Greedy SOB's


HOW DARE YOU interrupt my joy while shopping at Barnes and Noble.

It's bad enough you dominate almost every street corner, grocery store, shopping mall... But Barnes and Noble?
Have you no mercy?

Seriously... Just stop. I can't handle much more. I am already on my 2nd cup and it is only 7:43 am.

*currently "cuddling" my coffee*



Your Salted Caramel Mocha is the work of the Devil.
The yummy yummy Devil.

I will need a team of Priests to exorcise this "coffee demon" out of me.
I hate you Starbucks. I really do.

I'll be back in a few hours.

Sincerely,
Me

I figured you would get a kick out of my *rant* today.

Had to share.

Makes you want Starbucks now doesn't it? ;)

Love,

"Jill"

*salted caramel mocha*

PROOF God Loves Me